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Excerpts from an Untitled Memoir

Ex-Boyfriend Buzzkill

As I woke up that morning I felt a little knocked down.  It was Month 4 of my 6 month stint in Maine for a job that would hopefully broaden my career horizon, and the homesickness and the flat out loneliness was starting to really wear on me.  But as I got out of bed and started to greet the day,  I thought, “No! I shall not be defeated!”  I turned on the danciest music I could find on Pandora and was determined  to twirl myself into a good mood and a positive happy outlook! “Let me scroll through my Facebook,  see what everyone is doing. They could not possibly be having as much fun as me right now! I think I am even working off a sweat (good thing too, as my weights and kettlebell were actually getting heavier due to the amount of dust that was collecting on them!). La-di-da, happily scrolling through Facebook; Oh there’s another ice bucket challenge. Awww a video of dancing kitties! And look…oh wait, no. Crap.  *Bangs head against wall*.  Yup, there was my Ex with a big “Congratulations to Mr. Awful Ex Boyfriend Pants on his great new promotion!” under his photo.  Well, so much for twirling! Cue the Alanis Morisette and the sulking.  If only I could be more carefree like Taylor Swift… and damn her too! her prettiness is making us all look bad!

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